The odds of Take That reaching rehab in time for Christmas have dropped to 2/5 after their first performance as a five-piece in 15 years on last Saturday’s X Factor.
14.5 million viewers saw the return of addled former band member Robbie Williams for the performance of the group’s new song The Flood. ‘He wasn’t as wide-eyed and weird as last year,’ said one fan, ‘but he looks every bit as rough as the rest of them.’ Bookmakers Ladbroke’s made Take That 2/5 favourites to be in rehab for Christmas, ahead of Rihanna, newly-jobless actor Daniel Radcliffe, manipulated schmaltz merchant Susan Boyle, and stressed Liberal Vince Cable.
X Factor supremo Simon Cowell remained upbeat about the chances of the competition’s eventual winner taking the number 1 rehab spot as in previous years. ‘I’m predicting that Katie Waissel is going to win and go almost immediately into rehab,’ he said, ‘unless of course it’s Wagner, in which case I’m checking in myself.’