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Al-Qaeda causes panic in West by declaring: ‘We’ve finished our Christmas shopping already’

Terrorist movement Al-Qaeda has caused widespread panic in the West after releasing a video in which Osama bin Laden declares: ‘We’ve finished our Christmas shopping already’.

The chilling message was sent to major news channels last night and features bin Laden in an Afghan grotto bedecked with snow and tinsel, intercut with sinister images of al-Qaeda ‘martyrs’ carrying out online shopping raids on Western targets including Amazon.co.uk and the Marks & Spencer website. 

‘Behold, o lazy infidels,’ bin Laden says at one point. ‘We have bought everything we need for a lovely Christmas, even the crackers, while those who reject Allah are still scrabbling around shops like frantic rats, and in some cases haven’t even decided what they are going to buy their mother.’

In a gruesome scene, the al-Qaeda leader shows off a bag of wrapped goodies bought for US president Barack Obama. ‘I bet he hasn’t got anything for me yet,’ bin Laden says. ‘To him and the rest of the corrupt, immoral and decadent West I say this: Find it, get it, Argos it.’

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Posted: Nov 21st, 2010 by The Paper Ostrich

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