MI6 chiefs confirmed that they had received a message from Al-Qaeda asking if it would be possible for an Irish type bail-out to help them through these lean times.
‘We had our suspicions that Al-Qaeda had fallen on hard times after our latest raid on a terrorist bomb factory in Bradford,’ explained an MI6 spokesman. ‘All we found was three boxes of unused sparklers left over from bonfire night and a couple of bags of party poppers. If you take into account the fact that Bin Laden has been struggling to make his video terror threats due to not being able to get hold of the cassettes required for the 1980’s Betamax home video system, I would conclude that they are more broke than Woolworths were this time two years ago’.
Conservative backbenchers were said to be supportive of Cameron’s assertion that the British Government would not be bailing out a bunch of terrorists, with one adding: ‘So I’m confused, are we bailing out the Irish or not?’