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Christmas cancelled as Santa fails CRB check

Christmas 2010 has had to be cancelled until further notice following council checks on Father Christmas revealed that he had not had the required Criminal Records Bureau clearance to enter a large number of children’s bedrooms after nightfall.

‘Frankly we were quite alarmed when we heard of his intentions’ said the safeguarding officer at Lapland County Council. ‘He is an old man with a number of different names, who gets children to sit on his knee and promises them gifts ‘if they are good.’ So when we heard he was going to creep into their homes while everyone was asleep, it set off a number of alarm bells, as you can imagine.’

Father Christmas was unavailable for comment following his arrest under animal welfare laws. He faces allegations that he attempted to drive a number of reindeer of the roof of a large building, where they would have plummeted to almost certain death.

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Posted: Nov 24th, 2010 by Guest

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