The British people are in an increasingly angry mood because someone who has been dancing/singing/twatting about the Australian jungle on TV for 8 weeks/6 weeks/a few days has been allowed to carry on dancing/singing/twatting about the Australian jungle for a while longer, despite not being as good at dancing/singing/twatting about the Australian jungle as someone else who has had to stop doing it.
‘It’s so wrong,’ said Maureen Stubbs, a distressed, 43-year-old waste of oxygen from Luton. ‘Anne Widdecombe/Wagner/Gillian McKeith is nowhere near as good as Felicity Kendal/Paije/Nigel Havers, but after we’ve voted on it, she/he is still there and he/she is gone. What is the world coming to?’
Clarifying government policy on the subject, David Cameron said: ‘For myself, I prefer Pamela and James/Rebecca Ferguson/Dom Joly, but it’s just a bit of fun that brings the great British family together of an evening…What’s that Skippy? Nuclear strike on South Korea, 5 million dead. Oh, aren’t they NAUGHTY?’