Police chief Brian Stephens has said that police may have to change tactics in the next public inquiry into their conduct. ‘Until recently, we’ve shown our contempt by working song titles into our testimony, but now we may be forced to use film quotes.’
‘The game has changed,’ said a police marksman known only as ‘KT9’. ‘When they make one of their attempts to hold us accountable for somebody’s death, the old methods of showing our disdain will have to be revised. The tactic of inserting Chris de Burgh references into answers is no longer viable now that people are expecting it.
‘I’ve got dibs on ‘bizarre gardening accident’ and ‘you can’t really dust for vomit’ from Spinal Tap, and Sarge, who’s a bit of a Lord of the Rings freak, is going for ‘One does not simply walk into Stockwell’ next time we kill a member of the public.’