The Union of Arseholes who do Martial Arts has moved swiftly to discipline one of its members, after he failed to demonstrate his skills on a vaguely interested member of the public.
‘Anyone skilled in hand-to-hand combat is duty bound to point out all the pressure points on a new acquaintance and list the way you could damage him,’ said a spokesman.
Kevin Webb failed allegedly to rough up a new work colleague who uttered the phrase ‘Oh really?’ when Webb mentioned his Karate hobby.
To make matters worse, Webb infuriated the panel at his hearing by claiming that karate made him feel confident. To a stunned silence, he reasoned that being confident meant he didn’t feel the need to assert himself aggressively on others.
‘I don’t think he even understands what being a martial arts arsehole is about,’ said a spokesman. ‘Webb is the first martial arts arsehole to ever claim that his knowledge of karate is enough to make him feel good in social situations and that he doesn’t need to demonstrate his ability to beat up an office worker, should things kick off in the pub.’