God denies prayer-response targets have been missed

‘Almighty’ God has admitted to being ‘a bit behind’ with his workload, but denies that the stringent turnaround targets He was originally committed to have been missed.

Peter Saint, speaking on behalf of the nigh-omnipotent deity, has confirmed that ‘prayers offered in the 2007-2010 religious period are now next up in the in-tray’.

Reading out a statement, God’s Right-hand spin-doctor said: ‘Sure this might not be a great comfort to those that requested help with a sick relative for example, but the number of requests has really ramped up since the Gordon Brown years.

‘I’ve got funding for a couple of contractors to start in the New Year and we expect to be cracking on with the 2008 caseload by February. I’m confident that we will be back on track by this time next year, but I can see a very large file for May 2010, mostly from someone called Clegg? Might have to work a couple of weekends to clear that one.’

MC One R

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2010 by

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