The Government today announced its resolve to deal with the financial crisis by outlining a tough new ‘richness’ target.
‘From today, we believe everyone should be rich enough to shop at Morrisons,’ said Chancellor George Osborne. ‘And we have an aspirational target for everyone to be richer than everyone else by 2015. Anyone not richer than everyone else will be heavily fined.’
In spite of the targets being set almost 7 hours ago, it has been revealed that more than a million poor Britons are still falling way short of the minimum level of richness.
‘Shockingly, some people are already less rich than they were a year ago,’ continued Osborne. ‘We simply cannot allow this country to be brought down by the majority of the population.’