NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Archive for December, 2010

Hollywood goes too far with ‘Meet the Focking-Conts’

Following on from ‘Meet the Fockers’ and ‘Little Fockers’, Hollywood creative types may just have pushed the “Change-one-vowel-in-a-taboo-word” envelope an inch or two too far for middle America with new release, ‘Meet the Focking-Conts’.

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2010
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Commuters disrupted by unexpected absence of flash mob at Liverpool St Station

Train services from Liverpool Street were severely disrupted last night by the unprecedented absence of anarchic gangs engaging in unexpected organised dance. The “flashmob” phenomenon has become an integral part of daily commuter life in the capital, a tradition which dates back hundreds of years if a scene in the Bayeux Tapestry has been accurately [...]

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2010
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New Scottish minister for transport promises plentiful snow stocks this winter

will deliver more winter benefits than any other Scottish minister, since the last one.The new Scottish minister for transport and infrastructure, Keith Brown, has been quick reassure the Scottish people that supplies of snow are sufficient to see them through the festive period.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2010
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Mark Williams announces retirement from ‘stupid, boring snooker’

Just days after throwing away a 9-5 lead to lose 10-9 to John Higgins in the UK Championship final in Telford last Sunday, two-time world champion Mark Williams announced his retirement from the sport to stunned journalists, branding the sport ‘stupid’, ‘boring’ and ‘for joeys’.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2010
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God denies prayer-response targets have been missed

‘Almighty’ God has admitted to being ‘a bit behind’ with his workload, but denies that the stringent turnaround targets He was originally committed to have been missed.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2010
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