The craft of the traditional British village wordsmith, once the heart of the community, has fallen victim to foreign imports, text messaging and twitter.
Professor Erica Nurny of the Exeter School of Extreme Verbiage, bemoaning the death of the wordsmith’s trade, said:
‘The evolvement of an expansive gamut of broadcasted intercourse addressed by the televisual promulgators at our impressible progeny, is cultivating a proliferation of fallacious conceptions germane to the veridical employment of our copacetic vernacular.’
Meanwhile, Britain’s last practising wordsmith, Norman Shellac, hanging up his dictionaries for the last time, and departing his humble shop, said:
‘Nobody cares these days whether one should be allowed to use a preposition to end a sentence with.’
And a final valedictory sign left hanging in his shop window, read simply: