David Cameron has unveiled the replacement to Control Orders – a little bell that suspected terrorists will be forced to wear to warn the public of their whereabouts.
‘I got the idea looking at the Number 10 cat, Mr Snuffles,’ explained Cameron, ‘he can be a right terror in the garden with the birds – but all that stopped when he got a little bell. We’re sure it’ll apply with suspected terrorists too.’
Home Secretary Theresa May welcomed the solution. ‘These counter-terrorism bells will allow suspects to go about their daily business but also warn the general public that they are in the vicinity.’In the future, whenever people hear the tinkling of a little bell they will know that there could be a terrorist in the area, or worse still, a Morris dancer – either way they should run.’