UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon has today announced radical plans to tackle global conflict by building a new improved car-park at the UN Headquarters in New York.
‘Most of the conflicts around the world stem from disputes over our parking facilities here,’ he said. ‘Benjamin Netanyahu once parked with his two left wheels slightly over the line into Iran’s space, and when he came back to his car there was a long scratch down the side. Try brokering a peace treaty after that.’
‘And the Iraq war only started because President Bush missed a crucial UN meeting after wandering round the car park trying to remember where he’d parked.’
Surveillance cameras were installed last year as a security measure, but the idea was abandoned after Kim Jong-il was spotted writing ‘I wish my wife was this dirty’ on the back of the South Korean President’s car.