The Government has announced a significant change to the Nobility Living Allowance eligibility criteria which could mean literally eleven aristocratic families lose the benefit. Future applicants to the scheme will need to prove their inability to perform tasks that the general public can do quite easily, such as playing golf at the same time as untitled people, breathing without braying or snorting, or picking up their children from school without help.
‘The NLA was intended to assist those members of the upper classes who have difficulty accessing their money which is tied up in long term bonds’, said barrister Anthony Farquar-Smythe, ‘I’ve known cases where people experience real hardship and are down to their last half million in hard cash.’
‘On the plus side,’ continued The Rt Hon. Farquar-Smythe, ‘the changes will mean that every claimant will have the right to a chauffeur driven nobility scooter.’