After spending ten years fronting hit shows such as X Factor and American Idol, music impresario Simon Cowell is once again set to revolutionise the way the nation’s musical talent is produced by unveiling the world’s first instant ‘pop- noodles’.
Cowell insists that by simply adding water to his latest insipid concoction, he can create ‘ready made talent’, which is perfect every time to be instantly spoonfed to audiences of all ages. ‘All that is necessary,’ he said, ‘is to quickly stir the bland, diluted ingredients together, leave to stand for a while and a new star is born every few minutes.’
In addition to the trademark saccharine flavours, customers are told to be on the lookout for their favourite brand of ‘pop-noodle’. Saturday nights will soon be heaving to the sounds of the Cuppa-Cole, Boyle in a Bag, Extremely Ill Divo and the never to be forgotten, Paul Pot.