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Motorway service stations to cater for reluctant dieters with ‘salad pie’

A revolutionary diet plan has been introduced for those people whose commitment to the cause of losing weight is slimmer than their waistline. Backed by the Chief Medical Officer, the diet provides slightly healthier versions of familiar sounding foods for dieters who are reluctant to embrace a whole new menu.

‘This diet is for those people who cannot stomach the idea of a grapefruit for breakfast by providing comfort food alongside the discomfort foods,’ said leading nutritionist Anita Bean. ‘This is hardly gastronomic but by introducing healthy elements into their usual disgustingly indulgent diet we can lure them into eating some wholesome food without them really noticing. We are hoping that people will get used to the more nutritional offerings and eventually drop the unhealthy food element entirely.’

To test the initiative, a roadside service café near Pontefract has been trialling the new recipes for the past month, offering appetising morsels to hungry motorists and heavy logistics operatives alike. A typical menu choice would be:

Breakfast
Low fat chocolate Cheerios
Eggs and Bacon served with wholemeal fried bread and low sodium salt.
Muesli doughnuts

Lunch
Salad pie and mashed organic potatoes.
Lettuce and chips
Courgette in the hole

Desert
Melon crumble
That old standby Prunes and Mustard

‘We are delighted with the results so far,’ said Ms Bean. ‘These tasty meals are being snapped up by hungry travellers and we are sure that we are on the right road to defeat obesity.’

Weighing in at 21 stones, trucker Jed Collins falls uncomfortably into the initiative’s target market. Pausing only to break wind after tucking into a tasty Kentucky Grilled Chicken, Collins said. ‘I’m impressed. There was nothing much wrong with that.’

And did he enjoy the extra special salad garnish that was served with his bucket meal? ‘What, the rabbit food? Nah, I just threw it away as usual.’

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2011 by Stan Laurel

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