Troubled Libyan leader Colonel Gaddafi’s latest broadcast has done little to quell rumours that he has already left Libya after giraffes and elephants can be seen clearly roaming in the background during the transmission.
Standing outside what appeared to be a mud hut, General Gaddafi attacked foreign officials, including UK’s William Hague, for suggesting that he had fled the country in disgrace.
‘These stories are total fabrication. It is simply so not true than I am in Venezuela,’ he said via an interpreter, who may have watched too many episodes of Friends. ‘My Government remains strong and we have many good friends and allies abroad including President Kibaki of Kenya. Not that I would ever visit Kenya. Although I must say that the weather here, er, there, is so very good at the moment, um, so they tell me.’
The transmission was halted briefly, when what looked like the neck of a giraffe came into view above the mud hut. Once the picture was restored, Field Marshall Gaddafi continued. ‘You must so ignore that giraffe, it is not there. And if it is, it has been put in your minds by foreign spies. They are everywhere.’
Commander Gaddafi then descended into a long rambling rant about imperialist enemies before he was interrupted by the loud trumpeting of elephants. ‘I am proud of my contribution to wildlife,’ he ad-libbed desperately as a monkey tried to grab his microphone. ‘So that is why I’m speaking to you from the grounds of Tripoli Zoo.’ This verbal dexterity prompted mild applause from the film crew and a cry of ‘cool’ from the interpreter.
Admiral Gaddafi paused and a sinister calm seemed to come over him ‘I will not be messed about by disobedient animals,’ he glared into the camera, summoning all the dignity he could muster; which was rather difficult as the monkey had made off with his wig. ‘I’m thinking of going on safari tomorrow and may have to shoot some wildlife.’