NewsBiscuit

Fat manilla envelopes have been piling up in the Tripoli palace of beleaguered despot, Muammar Gaddafi from retirement communities around the globe.

Roy Greenstreet is managing director of Tyrants-R-Us – ‘almost assassination-free since 1975’ – a small gated community in Tirana, Albania. He says he’s excited by the prospect of adding Gaddafi to his rosta of brutal dictators who have chosen to spend their declining years in luxurious surroundings.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2011
More from News In Brief

Tony Blair, the United Nations’ Middle East envoy has broken his silence on the tense situation in Libya by calling for tough sanctions against Colonel Gaddafi such as the introduction of an ASBO.

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2011
More from World News

‘The northern city of Manchester has today been left devastated by the theft of its twin city of Salford.

‘It probably happened over the weekend’ surmised , Manchester resident Peter Fielding ‘To be fair, I don’t think anyone else had noticed.’ he added. ‘You sort of expect things to be safe in your own backyard, so to speak, don’t you? I realised someone had lifted it when I was dumping me Tesco’s trolley in the Irwell Trolley Park.’

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2011
More from News In Brief

The extradition of Julian Assange to Sweden is set to be delayed by over a month after Foreign Secretary William Hague agreed to organise his evacuation from the UK.

‘We are doing everything we can to get him out of the country,’ said Mr Hague, ‘however, due to a string of unforeseen circumstances there have been some delays.’

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2011
More from News In Brief

In a bold move to reduce the amount of time that passengers spend waiting for flights that never take off, Easyjet are to introduce the pre-cancelled flight. Hours of frustrating and pointless waiting will be eliminated and delays could be made a thing of the past. ‘Flights will be booked as normal with the added choice of pre-cancellation for a small fee,’ said an Easyjet spokesperson for a small fee. ‘Customers will no longer need to wait around in the airport living off overpriced takeaway food and choking on their own sense of injustice.

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2011
More from Business