‘I am delighted to announce that the ‘Stick’ part of the plan is currently in its final stages, and will be unveiled early next month. We now just need to attach it to the moon.’
Posted: Mar 31st, 2011
More from Politics
The Daily Mail has agreed to pay for the scrapped Fukushima nuclear reactors to be shipped to the UK for decommissioning and destruction.
Posted: Mar 31st, 2011
More from News In Brief
A starting rate of 2% on £2 per week will increase to 10% for amounts up to ten pounds. Pampered brats receiving more than that per week will be taxed at the full 50% higer-earners rate.
Posted: Mar 31st, 2011
More from News In Brief
The organisers of Farnborough Air Display have announced a ‘very special event’ this year, with the show relocating from its traditional Hampshire setting to the ‘vast, empty skies above Libya’. ‘Rusting, burnt-out tanks with their drooping gun barrels casting long shadows across the arid desert will provide a backdrop of natural beauty,’ said the show’s artistic director, Raphael Nureyev. The decision to take the air display to Libya was one of the lesser-reported outcomes of the recent London Summit. Foreign Ministers from across the globe agreed it would teach Gaddafi a lesson if he was made to sit through the entire weekend event, watching endless demonstrations of the world’s latest aeronautic wonders and fly-pasts by French fighter-jets.
Posted: Mar 30th, 2011
More from World News
The entire Neighbourhood Watch Committee of Stockley-under-field, which lies on an accident-prone section of the A5, will be armed with clipboards, pens and placards saying ‘GRRRRRRR!!’ to wave at offenders, whilst also subjecting them to Paddington-esque cold, hard stares out of the choppers’ windows.
Posted: Mar 30th, 2011
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