WackyStart to replace Sure Start Centres

The government plans to generate income by relocating all its ‘dull and worthy’ Sure Start Centres to the nearest ‘Wacky Warehouse’, a kind of life-size Playmobil toy, located inside a pub.

Staffing bills will be virtually wiped out by laying off current staff and appointing local people who are currently serving community service orders and ASBOs. It is hoped the newly rebranded ‘Wacky Start Centres’ will provide a much needed cash injection to children’s services, as well as supporting struggling pub landlords thanks to the high charges that the play centres traditionally apply to Turkey Twizzlers and Jagermeister.

A government spokesman said yesterday ‘anyone who has spent a Saturday afternoon in one of these places will know that there is no greater punishment than spending two hours surrounded by screaming hyperactive kids, so we might even straighten out a few crooks at the same time.’

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2011 by

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