Pressure mounts on Prince Andrew to quit job as scapegoat

For God's sake, Andrew, you're making us all look like idiots

Pressure is mounting on Prince Andrew to resign his traditional post of Royal scapegoat amid claims he is having too much fun doing the job.

A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace explained that since 1996 the prince has held the advisory role of Royal idiot, having taken over the post from his father the Duke of Edinburgh. ‘The Duke of York’s position is largely honorific and usually involves making foolish and inappropriate comments in public, forming friendships or preferably shady business connections with one’s dodgy foreign chums, and generally gadding about making an arse of oneself.’

In recent weeks, a series of leaked emails suggests that the prince has been using the role for ‘scandalously inappropriate purposes’ such as promoting British business and leading trade negotiations. An unnamed government source complained: ‘He’s a member of the Royal family doing an unpaid role that he’s no good at – of course we don’t expect him to actually do any work so he really ought to stop it.’

As the row continues over whether the foolish antics of the Royals can be weighed against the tourism revenue and sales of Hello! that they generate, it has been suggested that Andrew step down in favour of his nephew Prince Harry. ‘Offensive fancy dress outfits, eminently unsuitable girlfriends, and the general air of an irresponsible dandy,’ the government source said. ‘He sounds perfect.’

Zadok the Second

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2011 by

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