Supermarket giant Tesco has today unveiled a new range of microwavable meals-for-one aimed at single people who simply cannot face the idea of cooking for just themselves day after day.
‘The range includes a number of delicious accompaniments to loneliness, such as non-sharing platters and day-old leftover pizza,’ said a Tesco spokeswoman. ‘All the packaging provides full nutritional information and a contact number for the Samaritans.’
The meals are expected to be included within the ‘Great Nights In, Every Single Night of Your Life’ promotion, and are part of a three-for-two deal with discount lager and wine and a Sex And The City box set.
Customers asking staff for the new meals will be deliberately led past the ‘Smug Meals-For-Two’ range, before being directed half-way down the ‘Still-on-the-Shelf’ aisle and told they are just past the ‘Johnny No-Mates’ Pot Noodles.
By beau-jolly, with hat-tips to deskpilot and Al O’Pecia