EU recalibration means the eradication of little old ladies by 2014

There was consternation yesterday when it was realised that the full ramifications of the European Union’s General Recalibration Directive – Senior Citizens (Female) would mean that the little old lady, a traditional sight on the nation’s streets, would be phased out by Autumn 2014.

Under the EU directive the official height description for all ladies over the age of 65 will be altered irrevocably so that those under 145cm (4’9’’) will be classed as ‘Petite or Small’, those between 145cm and 165cm (5’5’’) will be ‘Moyenne or Medium’, and those above 165cm will be ‘Grande or Tall’.

‘The result will be that the British little old lady, whose average height is a headscarf thickness over five feet, suddenly becomes a ‘medium old lady’ at the stroke of midnight on 1st October 2014,’ complained Eurosceptic Nigel Farage. ‘Thanks to Europe all their clothes will be the wrong size.’

A further directive is also likely to cause confusion. To reflect life expectancy in Scotland and parts of Eastern Europe, a little old lady will now only need to be 45 years old, with anyone topping sixty classified as ‘ancient’.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2011 by

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