A new charitable foundation is appealing to Britons to give generously for research into a potentially life-threatening condition that affects everyone who has ever had sex with Katie Price.
‘By 2015, every single person in the UK will know someone who has slept with Katie Price. We need your help to fund research into this virulent strain of nuptialitis,’ said a spokesman. ‘One sufferer, known only as Peter, said that he was taken in by this, erm, mysterious girl and was exposed to dangerously high levels of Jordanium.’
More help is needed, however, as without the help of KPR UK and ITV2, who are raising awareness of this issue by showing graphic images of the after-effects, Peter and thousands of others like him would never have been given the chance to recover peacefully, in the privacy and comfort of a national concert tour.