Osborne slashes petrol from 135p to 140p per litre

Flags flew across the nation as grateful motorists celebrated the slashing of petrol prices from 135p a litre to and incredible 139p or even 140p.

Opinion was unanimous that credit for the fall was due to George Osborne.

Asif Samir, a petrol station proprietor from Devizes said: ‘give me your credit card, I’m on the phone, type in your pin code, Oh, I’ve dropped it, thank you, go away.’

Mr Osborne also revealed that the average tax burden has been reduced from £8,300 a head to £8,700, and with the VAT reduction from 17.5% to 20%, Britain was on course for recovery.

A government spokesman confirmed the news. ‘Yes, petrol has gone down, productivity has gone up, growth has gone up, unemployment has gone down…sorry? What do you mean my cue-card’s upside-down…’

(John Wiltshire, hat-tip to deskpilot3)

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2011 by

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