NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Archive for March, 2011

Royal wedding night to be released on BrideBangers.com

a perfect finale for all the street partiesA recording of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding night will be available to view on popular adult website BrideBangers.com within hours of the happy couple fully consummating their marriage.

‘This is a great honour and an enormous responsibility,’ said website owner Marc Lebowski. ‘The royal wedding, and resultant bedroom action, means so much to millions of people all over the world – we have to capture every note and every nuance perfectly in grainy night-vision format and have the recording ready within minutes of the end of the ‘royal prerogative.’

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2011
More from Arts/Entertainment



Evidence found that Gaddafi ‘behind carrier-bag threat’

Western troops in northeastern Libya are reported to have uncovered evidence that Colonel Gaddafi has been illicitly manufacturing supermarket carrier bags to be shipped to the UK and other countries to menace middle-class neighbourhoods.

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Growth forecast hit by octopus death

Chancellor George Osborne confirmed yesterday that that the death of Paul the Octopus, known for picking world cup winners, caused the treasury to revise growth forecasts downwards by a half of one percent.

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Drivers ‘ill-prepared’ for clement weather

drivers often stuck for hours in unbearable sweatersThe mild weather hitting large parts Great Britain over the last couple of months has brought the country to a standstill. Britain’s road network has once again ground to a halt, with weather-stricken motorists caught off guard by the sudden arrival of flurries of sunshine.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2011
More from UK News



‘Embarrassing’ Britain is humanely destroyed

‘It seemed like the kindest thing to do’ explained Britain’s European relative Germany. ‘He kept trying to pretend that he was still one of the big boys, entering into military campaigns he couldn’t really afford and acting like he was still one of the major world economies. It was so sad.’

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2011
More from News In Brief