NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Archive for March, 2011

Man regrets ‘charity begins at home’ remark after visit from Lenny Henry

entirely preventableA Droitwich man has publicly retracted his belief that ‘charity begins at home – namely 47 Blamire Gardens’ after a film crew, headed by Comic Relief front man Lenny Henry, arrived on his doorstep to help raise awareness of the conditions within the semi-detached maisonette.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2011
More from UK News



Anyone who says ‘on a daily basis’ to be waterboarded on a daily basis

Under stringent new government regulations, anyone who says they do something ‘on a daily basis’ or ‘on a regular basis’ or on an anything-else basis is to be waterboarded on a daily basis until they learn to speak English and say ‘daily’ or ‘regularly’.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Towels top Royal couple’s wedding list

Kate Middleton and Prince William revealed today that they have set up an Argos wedding list aimed at their less affluent family members, and top of their wish-list is a 6-piece towel bale in a tasteful cappuccino colour.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Italy evacuates 120,000 teenage girls from vicinity of Silvio Berlusconi

Shaddupa ya face.The Italian government has announced the urgent evacuation of nearly 120,000 teenage girls from the area around Silvio Berlusconi, the ageing prime minister who has recently been damaged by further allegations about his moral conduct.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2011
More from World News



Charity appeal launched to save Jordan’s exes

A new charitable foundation is appealing to Britons to give generously for research into a potentially life-threatening condition that affects everyone who has ever had sex with Katie Price.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2011
More from News In Brief