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Vince Cable defects to Libya

UK Business Secretary Vince Cable arrived in Tripoli last night and is ‘no longer willing’ to work for the Conservative and Liberal Democrat regime, the Libyan Foreign Office has said.

‘He travelled here under his own free will and has told us he is resigning,’ said a spokesman for Colonel Gaddafi. ‘This shows that the tyrannical British coalition government is fragmented, under pressure and crumbling from within. The writing is on the wall for Nick Clegg and his Lib Dem cronies, and he must be asking himself who will be the next to abandon him. I mean, just imagine if it were Chris Huhne.’

Vince Cable’s apparent defection comes as anti-government protesters in the UK are retreating from last weekend’s former strongholds of Parliament and Trafalgar Squares, some via police cells and the courts. But the Libyan government has promised to support the will of the British people by providing protesters with vital equipment such as arms, radios and bigger and more colourful placards.

‘We are keen to show solidarity with the people of Britain,’ continued the Libyan spokesman. ‘In fact we are leading diplomatic efforts to secure a UN resolution to protect these oppressed people from aggressive and unjustified cuts to public services committed by a government no-one voted for. We cannot just stand by and watch this massacre.’

‘We encourage those around Nick Clegg to abandon him and embrace a better future for the UK that allows for political transition and real reform that meets the aspirations of the British people. We are in talks with several other high-ranking officials who disagree with Clegg’s policies and are willing to grant them safe harbour in Tripoli. But not Ed Miliband, though he is welcome to come here on honeymoon.’

While the Libyan government has welcomed the defection of Mr Cable, they say that they cannot promise him immunity from prosecution for violating almost every clause of the 2010 Liberal Democrat election manifesto.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2011 by Guest

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