After failing to remember mother’s day last year, 24-year-old Paul Taylor from Leicester, who still lives at home with his parents, was determined to get his mother the perfect mothering Sunday gift this year. ‘It was six months before my mum started doing my washing and ironing again,’ recalled Paul. ‘I couldn’t afford for a repeat.’
But Paul was struggling for inspiration until in a break during Coronation Street his prayers were answered when he saw an advert for ‘Beautiful’ by Calvin Klein, which described the new fragrance as ‘the perfect gift for mother’s day’. ‘I was delighted,’ said Paul. ‘I could now make amends for the previous year’s mishap with not just a good gift, but a perfect gift.’
Paul headed out to the shops the following day, picked up the perfume and even splashed out the extra £1 to have it gift wrapped. He was all set with two weeks to spare, but then when he went out to get some lunch disaster struck.
‘I was feeling pretty good about myself,’ said Paul, ‘but then I saw a poster advertising Made in Dagenham on DVD as ‘the perfect gift for mother’s day’. How could that be? Suddenly I was confused as to which one actually was the perfect gift, and not wanting to drop myself in trouble for the second year running, I thought I’d better buy that too.’
Things soon went from bad to worse as Paul saw several other adverts and posters for various products all claiming to be the perfect gift. As of yesterday he had purchased 41 different fragrances, 37 DVDs and 35 books, the entire contents of a branch of Thorntons and a white-water rafting gift experience, at a total cost of just over £4,000.
Paul has now shut himself in his bedroom and is refusing to watch TV, listen to the radio or leave the house, and is questioning the veracity of the advertisers’ claims. ‘They can’t all be perfect,’ reasoned Paul. ‘I mean, if the rapids don’t kill her, the diabetes will. Next year I think I’ll just hire someone to do the laundry.’
His mother meanwhile is waiting to see if she gets Just Dance 2 for the Wii, which she has been dropping hints about for weeks.
Vertically Challenged Giant