Having pledged to reduce immigration to the UK to 1980s levels, David Cameron has today appointed Rochdale pensioner Gillian Duffy to the new office of State Immigration Controller.
‘In tackling both Gordon Brown and Nick Clegg, Mrs Duffy has shown she has no time for people who come here on false pretences,’ said the Prime Minister. ‘I have therefore asked Mrs Duffy to hang around at Dover and Heathrow with a camera crew and surprise newly-arrived immigrants with difficult questions about their reasons for coming to the UK.’
However, Mrs Duffy’s first shift on the job was not the success Downing Street had hoped for. ‘Each time she asked an immigrant where they were flocking from, they just called her a bigoted woman, and so instead of getting back on a plane to leave, we had to keep driving them to her house to apologise.’
Developed from an idea by SteveCut