The WI announced today that its members have voted in favour of relinquishing its long-held beliefs in crafts, domesticity and thrift, realising that it is much easier to pop down Asda for most of one’s daily needs.
‘I’m sick of hacking my way into a burnt fruit cake using an electric carving knife and a run up, and of chewing inexorably through a misshappen rubbery goat turd of a cookie,’ said Norah Hepplethwaite of the East Hertfordshire chapter.
‘A pack of double choc-chip cookies was 36p in Asda. 36 fucking pence! And they’re crispy, crunchy, and all the same bloody size.
‘As for you at it with the home brew, if I have to smile my way through another tot of your toxic weasel piss when Co-op are doing perfectly acceptable own brand Dry Sherry for £5.49 a litre, I’ll drop a gusset nugget here and now.’