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Bratz Dolls ‘gateway drug’ to marrying men with neck tattoos

Researchers in the United States have recently discovered a surprising statistic wherein women who played with Bratz Dolls as children were four times more likely to marry a man with a neck tattoo, compared to those who played with Barbies or other dolls.

Trixie LaRue, president and founder of Bratz Dolls Inc, defended her company and her dolls; ‘Well, at least they’re getting married,’ said LaRue on the Howard Stern radio show, ‘Bratz Dolls teach eight year olds how to catch a man. Not every girl is going to grow up to be Suzy Scientist and girls need to know there are other ways to get ahead in life besides education and hard work. Ever since they pulled ‘Stripper Barbie’ off the shelves young girls have had no way to hone their feminine wiles. Before Bratz Dolls how many six year olds knew what thigh high leather boot were, much less how to zip one up?’

Ms. LaRue then discussed the upcoming summer line of dolls, which included Belle Limia, ‘What’s this sore?’ Jua Q’ina, and ‘Pseudoephedrine Hoarding’ Holly. As for the detrimental effects the dolls may have on young girls LaRue was a bit more defensive. ‘You show me a person with a collection of Bratz Dolls, I’ll show you Bristol Palin. Show me a person with a collection of Barbies, I’ll show you Liberace.’

Tom Sarvay

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2011 by editor

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