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In an emotional interview today, Dame Judi Dench revealed that she is not bi-polar. ‘I find this hard to admit, but I’ve never suffered from mental health issues,’ she confessed. ’Or been a lesbian. Or taken drugs.’ And then the tears really flowed as she demanded: ‘Why am I so different from every other actress? Why? Why?’

Catherine Zeta-Jones was quick to offer her sympathy and support. ‘I can only imagine how hard it is for someone to have an acting career without being bi-polar, or at least some other mental health or sexual issue. And given that she’s had that huge disadvantage, she’s not done too badly, I suppose. Of course, if she had been bi-polar or seriously deranged on drugs, she would have had a really successful acting career, like me and Lindsay Lohan.’