NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Archive for April, 2011

Boy Scouts increasingly likely to have first sexual experience with a girl

With more girls than boys joining the Scouts in the last year, the Scout Association says that the odds of a boy being interfered with by a member of the opposite sex rather than a middle-aged scoutmaster are improving significantly.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2011
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Isle of Wight opens ‘CodgerWorld’, Britain’s first theme park for the elderly

‘Our centre offers the perfect place to keep the island’s key demographic occupied,’ said founder, Margret Briscoe, ‘and is ideally situated just a short bus ride from Sandown’s glamorous benches, bingo halls and fracture clinic.’

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2011
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Cameron appoints Gillian Duffy as State Immigration Controller

‘In tackling both Gordon Brown and Nick Clegg, Mrs Duffy has shown she has no time for people who come here on false pretences,’ said the Prime Minister.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Women’s Institute decide ‘shop bought is cheaper and nicer’

‘A pack of double choc-chip cookies was 36p in Asda. 36 pence! And they’re crispy, crunchy, and all the same bloody size.’

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Conservatives and Lib Dems unmasked in sham marriage clampdown

A Church of England crackdown on sham marriages has raised fundamental questions about the union of David Cameron and Nick Clegg who were married in a civil ceremony in May last year.

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Posted: Apr 13th, 2011
More from Politics