The green/blue half of Glasgow is celebrating in the streets today after Celtic/Rangers narrowly won the Scottish Premier League title. This was the 28th season in a row in which Celtic and Rangers/Rangers and Celtic have fought all the way to the finishing line, with Celtic/Rangers finally coming out on top on the last day.
‘I’m delighted/gutted,’ said Davie Neill, a lifelong Rangers/Celtic season ticket holder. ‘The lads done brilliant/just couldn’t quite get us over the line. It’s been an epic/epic season and we’ve ended it in style/crashed and burned at the last minute. It literally hasn’t sunk in yet.’
All police leave in Glasgow has been cancelled, with warnings of possible sectarian trouble ahead tonight. Many angry Rangers/Celtic fans have muttered that they were going to look out for ‘those Fenian bastards’/’those Proddy dogs’ and give them a good kicking.