NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Premiership footballer embarassed he has no superinjunction

A premiership footballer, who does not wish to be named but is in fact Mark Swindlehurst of Blackburn Rovers, has admitted to being totally embarassed at not having a superinjunction.

‘All the other lads laugh at me,’ he confessed. ‘They’re all out shagging anything that moves, and then paying fifty grand to stop anyone reporting it, while I’m at home with the wife and kids. Even the wife has a go at me. She says ‘What sort of a man are you when you can’t even pull some 17 year old slapper at Stringfellows? We’re the only family around here without a superinjunction to our name, and it’s ruining my reputation with the other wags’.

Mark claimed that his son is getting teased at Eton for hsi father not having a superinjunction, so he remains determined to get one so they can hold their heads up again in decent society.

‘In the meantime I’ll just stay at home watching Jeremy Clarkson on the telly, videos of Ryan Giggs, and a film with Ewan McGregor in it while wishing I was as rich as Lakshmi Mittal.’

Share this story...

Send to a Friend:





Click to send this story to a friend

Posted: May 23rd, 2011 by John Wiltshire

Click for more stories about: News In Brief