A woman in Wiltshire has reported that her Royal Wedding tea towel has stopped being any better or more uplifting than her other tea towels, sparking fears that the millions of commemorative items are beginning to lose their magic.
Maureen Williams of Devizes said ‘up until now I always felt a sense of deep inner joy whenever I used it, as though life had become worth living and the world was full of love and happiness. But now I just feel the same sense of listless drudgery, injustice, and social inferiority as when Charles married Camilla. To be honest, it’s not actually very absorbent either.’
There are now a growing number of similar reports, including a Royal Wedding teapot that makes ‘increasingly ordinary-tasting tea’, a Royal Wedding plastic bag whose owners report is ‘no longer bigger on the inside’, and a Royal Wedding couple who have quickly stopped being everybody’s favourite young lovers and have instead become a pair of silver-spooned privileged toffs sunning themselves at an exclusive Indian Ocean resort at taxpayers’ expense.