Destruction of their habitat, increased competition from more aggressive vagrants and a national shortage of fingerless gloves have all contributed to the decline of native tramps, a report claims.
Posted: May 27th, 2011
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Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson announced today that the police have been misreading their polygraph machines for the last 50 years.
Posted: May 27th, 2011
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Against the wishes of its manufacturer, Arctic Rolls were granted protection under the EU ‘regional food’ policy yesterday. From July, the retro dessert can only be labelled ‘Arctic Roll’ if it is manufactured within the Arctic circle.
Posted: May 27th, 2011
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The recent decision by the Mills and Boon publishing house to move into sex education has been slammed as irresponsible by education experts for encouraging impossible romances, quivering bosoms and a penchant for exhilarating sex with topless manual labourers, whose skin glistens in the morning sun like fresh dew on a rosebud.
Posted: May 26th, 2011
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Sir Bobby Charlton admitted today that for much of his playing career he was almost completely bald.
Posted: May 26th, 2011
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