NewsBiscuit

Donald Trump, billionaire businessman and star of the hit USA show The Apprentice has had to withdraw from the American Presidential race after it was revealed that he had plans to sack the troublesome city of Detroit.  A leaked document revealed that Trump was looking forward to bringing his business acumen to the biggest job in the world, and would have streamlined the United States down to ‘thirty-five to forty profitable states’ before organising a leveraged buy-out of other more profitable territories.

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Posted: May 16th, 2011
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Security in and around the new 2012 Olympic stadium in Stratford, East London, has been stepped up today after fears of an increase in white elephant poaching were confirmed following the discovery of the butchered corpse of the Millennium Dome.

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Posted: May 16th, 2011
More from News In Brief

The lowly hotel employee who was allegedly raped by IMF boss and front runner to be the next French President has spoken about her anxiety about the political ramifications of the incident.

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Posted: May 16th, 2011
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A sunken model of the former Al Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden has proved a hit with aquarium owners who more normally decorate their fish tanks with shipwrecks or little castles. Suppliers have confirmed that the figure, a faithful reproduction rendered in tank safe ceramics and non toxic paint, is outselling many other popular fish tank decorations, including the mermaid and aerating treasure chest.

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Posted: May 15th, 2011
More from World News

The green/blue half of Glasgow is celebrating in the streets today after Celtic/Rangers narrowly won the Scottish Premier League title. ‘I’m delighted/gutted,’ said Davie Neill, a lifelong Rangers/Celtic season ticket holder.

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Posted: May 15th, 2011
More from News In Brief