Middle class families around the UK have reacted with anger and bafflement at news that the global environmental crisis continues unabated.
For reasons that are not yet clear, household composting schemes and the diligent separation of glass and cardboard from general refuse could not negate the effect of hundreds of millions of cars and factories.
“I just don’t understand it,” said Publishing Consultant Ruben Shepherd. “we really pulled out all of the stops; the council won’t take corrugated cardboard, so once a month I load up the Range Rover and take it down to the recycling centre myself. Talk about going the extra mile.“
“We took all the caps off the chianti bottles before lobbing them into the recycling bin with a satisfying tinkle, one by one. Oh and we only used tuk-tuks on our holiday in Thailand – that’s got to help.”
Advertising executive and armchair eco-warrior Carol Burge was equally baffled: “All year I left orange peel lying around instead of buying pot-pourri,” she explained “and they still say that sea levels could rise several feet, flooding low-lying areas of London and the East of England. Actually, thinking about it, that’s bound to stink – I’d better get some organic cloves too…”