Comic book fans around the globe are said to be ’inconsolable’ after the death of Life Sciences major Simon Simpson (21), after being attacked by a mutant radioactive spider in his local museum.
As news of the troubled loner’s initial mishap broke online, several influential figures in the world of comic book geekery made thinly-veiled intimations that Mr Simpson could develop superpowers. Marcus Billington of PlanetwatchersX blog suggesting that ‘…that Simpson guy will almost certainly realign his genetic structure and develop a number of ingenious spider-based crime-fighting abilities within the next 3-5 days. SCIENCE FACT!’
‘To be fair, it wasn’t just the spider,’ explained Mr Billington, speaking from his parents‘ home in Daventry ‘There was more to it than that. The fact that his names started with the same letter, for instance, was another strong indication that we were on the verge of a major genetical superpower breakthrough.’
Mr Simpson’s untimely demise is the latest in a number of disappointments for the geek community. For some time, geek blogs have been anticipating a ‘tipping point in genomic re-alignment’ that will produce a ‘messianic vigilante figure who to watch over us and prevent the crap being beaten out of us at work.’
For many comic book fans, the incident is an unwelcome reminder of the fate of physicist Lee Yong-Chui who became trapped underground during a nuclear weapons test in North Korea. In spite of news of Yong-Chui’s accident leaking online, Yong-Chui died several weeks later, having failing to vapourise a sinister foreign intruder, who went on to steal his VHS recorder.
‘Geek expectations are going to have to re-adjust, and quickly’ remarked home-schooled futurologist Marc Stevens of ‘Invincibility 360’ blog
‘I think we can expect to see more and more formerly mild-mannered-but-troubled types taking the Batman route: witnesings a crime as a child and then simply saving up lots of money for neat gadgets. Right now, simple resource management is a much safer bet.’