The entire IT sector has been thrown into crisis after Irene Elcombe, a pensioner from East Cowes on the Isle of Wight, expressed her distinct indifference at over 40 years of exponential technological innovation.
Mrs Elcombe unleashed the withering indictment while visiting her grandson, Chris Elcombe, a systems analyst at Microsoft’s UK headquarters in Reading. ‘It all kicked off when I tried to show her how she could use the internet to access a timetable for buses to Newport,’ recalls Chris. ‘ She seemed to take offence and merely asked me who on Earth I thought I was to tell her how to get to Newport.’
Things went from bad to worse for the exasperated IT professional when a digital photo frame slideshow he’d prepared for his grandmother backfired spectacularly.
‘I honestly thought she’d love it. I’d included all her most cherished photos, from childhood, right up until my wedding last year. Instead she just shrugged and said I’ve got boxes of photos in the loft. What do I need them on a computer for?’
He continued, ‘It’s really dented confidence within the whole industry. We’d just taken Moore’s lesser-known second law for granted; that octogenarians’ awe and disbelief at what we can do nowadays would double every two years. It seems that’s just not the case. ‘The only feedback I got from her at the end of my PC tutorial was ‘disappointment’ that Windows 7 ‘doesn’t come with net curtains’.