Post Office Counters hit by DDoS attacks

The UK’s post offices are being brought to a standstill by Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attacks.

“Sometimes the attacks are so well-organised that Mildred has to close her counter until she’s had a strong cup of tea,’ said one postmistress. ‘We just can’t cope in the face of a DDoS attack.’

Chief Supt. Bill Watson said police investigations were targeting a group of pensioners who join post office queues en masse putting unbearable strains on the service.

‘You might call them queue hackers, he said. ‘and they usually choose pension day to mount their attacks.’

Chief Supt. Watson said the police were also interested in so-called ‘giro specialists’ who mount DDoS attacks on benefit days.

The police are particularly interested in Gordon McKinnos (86) who may be the ring leader.

‘This shadowy gentlemen visits post offices several times a day, picking up his pension, buying stamps and postal orders, sending parcels, and generally being a nuisance to counter staff.

‘Fortunately he has a son in Texas, so we think we can soon extradite Mr McKinnos to the United States.’

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2011 by

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