NewsBiscuit

The American government has confirmed that they intend to clone a new version of Osama bin Laden who will be made to stand trial, be found guilty and then executed all over again. ‘Many people were delighted when they heard that we had shot bin Laden,’ said President Obama, ‘but, at the same time, a lot of people also wanted to see him face trial for his crimes. Cloning bin Laden gives everyone what they want.’

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2011
More from World News

Last March Johnson successfully won a court action to have Haw evicted from his long-running Parliament Square peace camp and has already blocked plans by Haw’s supporters to bury him on the Parliament Square site.

But some lawyers argue that the High Court has no power to rule on dead peace campaigners.

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2011
More from News In Brief

‘And we’re experts at spotting suicide bombers,’ al-Zawahiri said, ‘because we train them. And many of our operatives have flown on US Rendition Airlines blindfolded. But it’s a pity Richard grabbed the ‘Virgin’ moniker.’

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2011
More from News In Brief

Ryanair has robustly defended the introduction of ‘sky oars’ in their new sub-economy class. Each oar is operated by a row of three passengers and the designer, Patrick from Marketing, thinks they could help propel the aircraft.

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Posted: Jun 20th, 2011
More from Business

The value of a Kindle can depend as much on its content as on its physical condition, according to experts.

‘Recently we were unable to reach the starting price on a Kindle containing 3,500 books because most were Jeffrey Archer novels,’ said a Sotherby’s spokesman.

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Posted: Jun 20th, 2011
More from News In Brief