Limiting shoppers to two packs of painkillers ‘preventing thousands of suicides a year’

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley has thanked the UK’s major supermarkets for their part in keeping Britain’s suicide rate down by refusing to sell more than two packets of paracetamol to a customer at a time.

‘I’d lost my job, my wife and my house and I just wanted to end it all,’ said John Carter of Halifax. ‘But when the checkout girl told me I could only buy two packs of painkillers, it felt too much like hard work to go round the store again so I decided to put my life back together instead.’

Tesco staff preventing the sale of multiple packs of paracetamol are being presented with a sash saying ‘I saved a life today’.

‘One of our checkout staff picked up their third sash today after stopping a customer with 3 packs of paracetamol, two litres bottles of bleach, a bottle of vodka, a length of rope and some razor blades. It’s good to know we’re making a difference.’

Vertically Challenged Giant and Oxbridge (hat-tip to JonnyJP)

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2011 by

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