Health Secretary Andrew Lansley has thanked the UK’s major supermarkets for their part in keeping Britain’s suicide rate down by refusing to sell more than two packets of paracetamol to a customer at a time.
‘I’d lost my job, my wife and my house and I just wanted to end it all,’ said John Carter of Halifax. ‘But when the checkout girl told me I could only buy two packs of painkillers, it felt too much like hard work to go round the store again so I decided to put my life back together instead.’
Tesco staff preventing the sale of multiple packs of paracetamol are being presented with a sash saying ‘I saved a life today’.
‘One of our checkout staff picked up their third sash today after stopping a customer with 3 packs of paracetamol, two litres bottles of bleach, a bottle of vodka, a length of rope and some razor blades. It’s good to know we’re making a difference.’
Vertically Challenged Giant and Oxbridge (hat-tip to JonnyJP)