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Hate me! Hate me again! Says Nick Clegg, pissing on the Cenotaph

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg today threw several impoverished students, a cute puppy dog and Sir Bruce Forsyth onto a blazing bonfire of the lovely frocks of a naked, shivering Duchess of Cambridge before pissing on the Cenotaph and declaring ‘Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!’

‘Now I can be Britain’s most hated person again’, howled Clegg, brandishing a signed photo of the late Queen Mother and vowing: ‘I’m going to wipe my arse on this.’ Clegg staged the dramatic protest after announcing that he was going to sue for wrongful dismissal from his post as the country’s whipping boy.

‘It’s not fair – they’ve got a massive advantage when it comes to being universally disliked, what with being Australian and a Ginger,’ he sobbed, as journalists sped past him on their way to the latest development in the ongoing phone hacking scandal. ‘I hacked the Pope’s phone!’ he shouted after the disappearing reporters.

In other news, Fabio Capello is rumoured to be the next subject of Britain’s vitriol as soon as England complete their abject capitulation in Euro 2012.

FraserWords

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2011 by Guest

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