NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Proof of time travel impossibility prompts radical overhaul of Dr Who

no short cut to GallifreyAlready in trouble for other reasons, producers of popular BBC series Doctor Who have now had to concede that the programmes they make may not have any tangible connection with reality after the emergence of compelling new scientific evidence. The new crisis emerged as physicists in Hong Kong confirmed that photons (light) cannot actually exceed the speed of light (photons), and that as a conclusion time travel may ultimately not be possible.

Startled by the new thinking, producers on the programme have been forced to further concede that they may have breached the BBC’s Reithian rules on ‘entertaining, educating and informing’ on at least two counts.

‘When you put it like that it seems pretty obvious and we’re all feeling a bit humble,’ said producer Toby Featherlight, ‘and from my point of view, I fear that the whole show and my future as a big cog in the little understood Logie-Baird-Rediffusion-Gradean interpretation of the TV field may require further positive substantive evidence before my salary can be confirmed.’

Up until now the Doctor’s TARDIS has been believed to work on an entirley Einsteinian-Relativistic, non-Euclidean, McCloudian Geometric premise of walking through a door and finding a room that is bigger than you expected but now, the Hong Kong evidence suggests, someone may have been using Ovine-Twinean arguments to pull wool over people’s eyes.

‘It’s a difficult problem to solve and it’s probably best tackled by switching off for a while, not thinking about it, and maybe watching something on telly early on a Saturday evening, something that takes your mind off all this. But at the moment I can’t for the life of me think what that might be,’ said Mr Featherlight.

‘As for the Doctor, well, he’ll be alright, and will always be able to sort anything out,’ Mr Featherlight added, ‘After all, he’s got a sonic screwdriver!’

pere floza

Share this story...

Send to a Friend:





Click to send this story to a friend

Posted: Jul 26th, 2011 by Guest

Tagged as: , , , , , , , ,

Click for more stories about: Arts/Entertainment