NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Archive for July, 2011

Britain fears it could be next as Lord Sugar tells Italy ‘You’re fired’

under the old rules, Italy would have walked it‘Britain, you were hopeless in the Party Organisation challenge,’ said Lord Sugar. ‘You stood in the corner afraid to talk to anyone, then downed 12 pints of lager, tried to start a fight with France and vomited on your shoes. You really need to up your game.’

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2011
More from UK News



Brooks adopts ‘light cannot exist without darkness’ defence in Committee Enquiry

Rebekah Brooks wrong-footed the Commons Media Committee today by claiming that her actions during her reign of terror within NewsCorp were required to bring balance to life itself.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Rupert Murdoch ‘has no recollection’ of shaving foam attack

Rupert Murdoch insisted he could not recall being attacked yesterday afternoon by a man in a checked shirt wielding a paper plate loaded with shaving foam. ‘A paper what?’ he asked reporters after leaving the Select Committee room. ‘Don’t know anything about that.’

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Nelson Mandela ‘getting a bit racist in his old age’

remembers when it was all fields round hereReports from the 93rd birthday of former South African President Nelson Mandela say the event was marred by the veteran anti-apartheid campaigner complaining about the number of ‘blacks’ at the party and how South Africa had gone downhill since they ‘let all those darkies take over’.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2011
More from World News



Appointment of Junior Cadet as new Met Commissioner ‘delights family and teacher’

David Cameron’s exhaustive vetting of the remaining serving Metropolitan Police officers to find a suitable replacement Commissioner has led to the surprise appointment of prospective Junior Cadet Frankie Cruz Johnson to the post.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2011
More from News In Brief