‘Britain, you were hopeless in the Party Organisation challenge,’ said Lord Sugar. ‘You stood in the corner afraid to talk to anyone, then downed 12 pints of lager, tried to start a fight with France and vomited on your shoes. You really need to up your game.’
Posted: Jul 20th, 2011
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Rebekah Brooks wrong-footed the Commons Media Committee today by claiming that her actions during her reign of terror within NewsCorp were required to bring balance to life itself.
Posted: Jul 20th, 2011
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Rupert Murdoch insisted he could not recall being attacked yesterday afternoon by a man in a checked shirt wielding a paper plate loaded with shaving foam. ‘A paper what?’ he asked reporters after leaving the Select Committee room. ‘Don’t know anything about that.’
Posted: Jul 20th, 2011
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Reports from the 93rd birthday of former South African President Nelson Mandela say the event was marred by the veteran anti-apartheid campaigner complaining about the number of ‘blacks’ at the party and how South Africa had gone downhill since they ‘let all those darkies take over’.
Posted: Jul 19th, 2011
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David Cameron’s exhaustive vetting of the remaining serving Metropolitan Police officers to find a suitable replacement Commissioner has led to the surprise appointment of prospective Junior Cadet Frankie Cruz Johnson to the post.
Posted: Jul 19th, 2011
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