Large crowds last night gathered in Rome’s St Peter’s Square to celebrate Mrs Bridget O’Reilly’s first orgasm since 1993.
The Catholic mother-of-ten, from Dublin, has failed to achieve orgasm for decades for fear of yet another pregnancy.
Last night’s historic climax follows Pope Benedict’s recent Letter,’Omnipotens Deus: OK, then, get on with it’, reversing traditional Catholic teaching on sex and contraception.
Sister Mary Immaculata, the Church’s spokeswoman on women’s affairs, said:
‘Poor Bridget hasn’t been able to crack one off on her own even in the privacy of her own bedroom in case she goes blind and her hands drop off.’
‘But last night she had it big time,’ added the limbless and blind ex-nun.
Meanwhile, as white smoke rose from the Sistine Chapel and bells rang out across Rome, a delighted Mrs O’Reilly declared, ‘Now that’s what I call a real Second Coming.’