NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

US debt crisis averted thanks to loan from Wonga.com

geat deals still out there for anyone who can still afford broadbandThe US breathed a collective sigh of relief today following President Obama’s announcement that the nation’s application for a loan from online lender Wonga.com had been approved.

‘The site was really user-friendly and made getting out of debt by getting into even more debt a doddle,’ said Obama. ‘The green undulating fields and cartoon butterflies at the top of their homepage made me feel immediately at ease, plus they had this cool slider thing that went all the way up to $2,400,000,000,000 – which was handy. They didn’t even seem bothered about our credit history.’

The deal comes after a night of fraught discussions between Democrats and Republicans around the White House kitchen table. ‘Hillary Clinton was writing down ‘what we’ve got coming in’ and ‘what we’ve got going out’ on the back of a manila envelope, but we quickly ran out space for all the noughts,’ continued Obama. ‘Then we went online and found Wonga.com. Their guaranteed instant decision and 15-minute payout was just what we were after. I’d certainly recommend their service to any other struggling superpower.’

Wonga are delighted by the deal. ‘We usually specialise in small-time borrowers who need that little bit extra to help make ends meet until payday. But anyone can experience cashflow problems, and it’s just good to be able to do our bit for the world’s largest economy.’

However, many in Congress and the House of Representatives are said to be furious after checking the smallprint and finding that Wonga is charging a typical APR of 4,214% on the $2.4 trillion loan. ‘The main thing is that we now have the money to stop us defaulting on our debts,’ said Obama. ‘Our credibility would have been in tatters if we couldn’t keep up our repayments to cash4u.com.’

Share this story...

Send to a Friend:





Click to send this story to a friend

Posted: Aug 1st, 2011 by Qoxiivi

Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Click for more stories about: World News